4 WriteStuff

Some seeds we plant we will never sow – they are our legacy for the next generation. Legacy is written by our choices and actions, not by fruitless words. Weed out disappointment and sorrow, Plant love and gratitude.

Some people come into your life as blessings; others come into your life as lessons.

A few days ago I mentioned that I was starting The Draw the Circle 40 day prayer challenge again. When Mike returned home, I asked if he’d like to join me, and this time around we are doing it together.

As we looked at our calendar to plan our upcoming week, we were jolted with the realization of the significance of Labor Day weekend to our prayer challenge. I was fasting part of that weekend: we had a son deployed to a hot spot and I was praying hard for him. That night God woke me with a vision of him in his dress uniform and he was smiling and happy to be home.

The next day, 10 years ago today, we went to this place called Burney Falls for the first time. We looked at a ranch for sale that day as well, although it was an impossible dream for us. It was too far out of our price range and we did not have our house sold yet.

That visit to the ranch would not let go of me. I prayed daily for a miracle. Then I was given the Draw the Circle 40 Day Prayer challenge. I started it sometime in mid-September. The first week of November was the day I met Mike with a cup of coffee and said, “drink fast, I’ve got something big to tell you.” When his eyes were open I told him I reminded him of the prayer challenge I was doing and told him I felt i was supposed to pray for 3 things: That we’d be living at the ranch by Christmas, that we’d have an offer on our house by Christmas, and our son would be home by Christmas.

The next week we went to lunch with a cousin and when Mike shared about the ranch dream, they offered a down payment to make it happen. We called the realtor, found out the price had dropped $50,000; there was one offer on the property, and another coming on Tuesday. After a bit of negotiation, he accepted our offer: he remembered us and loved chatting with Mike about all involved in running the place.

Thanksgiving week, we had an offer on our home and our son returned from deployment. In fact, HIS WHOLE UNIT returned – he had been making fun of me for praying that because he said the army doesn’t work that way. Oh ye, of little faith, do you not remember the prayers for the army to change your graduation so we could attend yours and then your brother’s two days later? Yeah, that happened too.

The ranch prayer taught me to be more specific. An offer by Christmas is not the same as closing escrow by Christmas. I have shared often that I (with my bookkeeping background) still have no idea how we made double payments (and double property tax payments) for four months. But it happened.

The 10-year anniversary of that miracle, coinciding with another go at the 40-day prayer challenge, coinciding with the week my schedule finally clearing up enough to work on finishing the book (Inspiring Life’s Journey) about the whole ranch adventure…

I’ve no idea what God’s up to, but He’s provided so much encouragement these past two weeks that I know we’re going to love it, even if it’s in the midst of a storm. Storm? Yes, miracles don’t come cheap, there’s often God’s booming voice and a bit of lightning attached.

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Sometimes adversity is the enemy trying to hinder or discourage us.
Sometimes it is God saying, “Slow your roll, you are settling for less than My full blessing. The challenge is knowing the difference: discernment of the Holy Spirit and prayer are our tools in this battle.

Shed some light on this please – I’m tripping in the dark!

Living the question between the lines…
My guess is as good as anyone’s.
Theirs might be more educated,
But when answers are lacking,
Guessing is what’s left

Tho praying is best.

When I am in a difficult place, experiencing life’s storms can be at times overwhelming. This year has been particularly stormy, but when the clouds gather, I look for the light and am so grateful that God is faithful.

Years ago Robin Fields gave me The Circle Maker, and the Draw the Circle 40 Day prayer challenge. Those prayers changed many lives and it’s time to re-up on the 40 Day prayer challenge.

The promise at the end of that rainbow is far greater than gold and, as Casting Crowns wrote, I will praise God in the storm.

Is your love, your identity only skin deep?
Man looks at the outward appearance,
God looks at the heart.
Learning to live and love like Jesus looks like living and loving  deeper.

Grace
God’s Race
Ready – on your knees and pray

At your mark – get set
Can – God CAN accomplish that which He began in you
E – Eternity waits at the finish line. You win when you cross the line. Time doesn’t matter.

GRACE

G-Race: It’s God race

Get ready – on your knees and pray!

Get out of His way – let Him lead…

Grab His hand and hang on…

God’s got this and He’s got you!

So often our best efforts are spent not on what we should have done, but rather what we can do from here going forward.

Sometimes there is that one thing your heart has longed for – that one thing on your bucket “list” of only one thing that is within your ability to do for yourself. When that has been pushed aside for so long while you waited for the right time, the money, etc. But still, you had time and money to spend pleasing others who took it for granted that you would. Look around: those who accomplished those dreams made it a priority. They let others take care of themselves and didn’t wait for the “right time.” If you wait too long, there will never be a time. As the ad says, “Just do it.”

That which trips you up in the darkness is easily removed in the light. Remove it, or keep tripping?

When funds are tight, so is the belt: frivolous food and trips are out. Count what you want and make your resources count.

Sometimes your gift is your absence not their presence. We don’t always get what we want.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.
So often those difficulties in life are God’s roadblocks – you are going the wrong direction, there are some drastic changes in your life that will lead you down a better path. Pursuing that which doesn’t make sense, which would take a miracle to accomplish, often is the very path God has in mind for us. For this purpose, you have come to this hour. Find that new purpose regardless of what the cost appears to be.

-The saying “They don’t care what you know until they know you care” is highly relevant. Show by your actions that you care and people are more willing to hear what you have to say.
-The flip side of that is those who want to tell you what you should do but have no skin in the game.
“If their actions don’t show they care for you, why care what they think?”
-Sometimes when you quit caring, it is for the right reason – they want to control but their actions show caring is not their motive and it’s time for you to start caring for you instead of throwing yourself on the altar of their fickle opinions.

July
Sometimes you need to wake up, quit dreaming, and take care of the necessary.

Sometimes you are the elephant in the room no one wants to talk to or about.

When children are young, couples often long for a quiet romantic dinner.
After children have their driver’s licenses, a quiet dinner for the two becomes a frequent event.
After children leave home, a quiet dinner is just one more of 365 quiet dinners and there is a longing for the energy and interaction of family dinners.

Our weaknesses become our strengths when we expose them to the Son and let Jesus grow them. (Buried deep, they rot our roots).

You can face your fears or let fears be your faith (face)

Happiness is an unfulfillable life goal – happiness is fleeting, it evaporates. Purpose, however, continues to refill with every step of the journey and brings joy to the journey regardless of the circumstances. It brings the ability to press on even through the hard places.

When you say you are in a great place but erupt in anger at every small breeze that blows your way, your actions disprove your words.

Men and their achievements are celebrated throughout their lives. Why is it that at a certain age, society seems to feel it is not socially appropriate for women to be celebrated – especially on birthdays? They offer the assumption, “She doesn’t like birthday celebrations” or other excuses. They don’t want to point out that the woman is aging, so they leave her alone – too old. Maybe some women are just born old. From their mid-20s to about 79, birthdays don’t exist. It wouldn’t be so bad if that meant the years didn’t still take a toll, but the toll has penalties due when abandoned.

Life is short. How tragic to skip those opportunities: birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates. You never know which will be the last opportunity and if there will be another opportunity.
 

Life is lived like a meal

How you eat is frequently how you live.

Some gulp it down, in a hurry to be on with the next thing;

Others crush and grind, chomping like it has no flavor, and spray pieces all over anything in proximity;

Some hover over their plate as if to protect it and keep others from seeing it;

It seems more common for us to slow down and savor the flavor as we age, but not everyone is common.

Others savor the flavor and the presence of others.

When we are angry, when we are grieving, when we give up on God – HE STILL DOES NOT GIVE UP ON US.

We are not punishing Him with our anger, we are punishing ourselves. Self is hard to get over, but it is very freeing.

Whether we believe in God or not does not in any way increase or diminish who God is. It does, however, greatly change who we are.

Life isn’t about “me” when I am about making the most of life, it’s about “we”.

Perseverance is the proving ground of faith.
Matthew 17:20
He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
Sometimes it takes a whole lot more shovelfuls of dirt than we think we have in us, but one shovel at a time, and at some point the mountain is moved.

Sometimes hope takes putting it out on the table and letting God work.
Hope ALWAYS requires discernment in which table you put it on. It also requires a willingness to hear God’s answer: yes, not now, not ever.

June

Had a conversation with a friend recently where we were discussing purpose. Purpose often changes, and what we envision as our purpose in the next chapter may not fit with the plans others have for us. Dreams don’t always come true, sometimes they are morphed by the expectations of others into nightmares.

This I know: when I pray for God’s dream for my life to be fulfilled, He has some amazing surprises. Sometimes even the hints of what could be are enough to evoke silence so as not to stir up the critics.
Often dreams are God’s to tell.

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If walls could talk…
Actually, they do: Our words often speak of that which fills our hearts.
Whose pictures are on our walls,
How many?
Which walls?
Our walls speak of our focus, that which we love, or that which we compartmentalize and allow only to occupy a small space.

For example: often the photos of a dearly departed are in every area when grief is fresh. Over time, that grief and those photos are often compartmentalized.

Walls can speak words of self-focus or words of love, words of beauty, and encouragement.

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The world is full of promises;
Remember: every promise has a cost.
What does it cost?
Who does it cost?
Nothing is free.

For example:
better roads- higher fuel tax

free medical – is free for some, but those who buy into the plan pay double.
Medical facilities and doctors also pay as they agree to charge less for their services. Some actually accept less, while others engage in pass-through billing where they charge their patients the difference between the agreed-upon amount and the actual amount.

higher minimum wages = higher costs for goods and services = being able to afford less goods and services

What about God’s promises?
Eternal life in heaven = the cost is responsibility: accepting our call to be a good steward of the resources, gifts, and challenges God has given to us. The cost is considering the impact our actions have on our relationships, our spirituality, our integrity. It is living a life of obedience to God’s laws.

The problem is, we can’t do that, we fail constantly and sin.
The cost of that failure to live 100% pure is an eternity in hell.
Jesus has agreed to pay that penalty – the cost is that we admit we sinned, we believe that Jesus, as God’s Son can and will pay that cost, and we accept Jesus’ payment for that sin.

What is the cost to us? It costs us change. We cannot accept payment for so great a debt without it changing our hearts and lives and this difference is the evidence of a true believer in Jesus Christ.
Our desires change: we no longer embrace the evil (Ra) of this world;
Our heart changes: as the love of Christ grows in us, we learn to love with God’s love instead of the world’s lust after material and physical gratification.

There are those who spew anger towards God – He is mean and hateful or He would let us do/be what we want. Why would a loving God put restrictions on us?

As usual the ra is tricking us into asking the wrong question. What is love? Love is about loving the person, not accepting destructive behavior or attitudes.

The visual I have of this is a childhood memory. Our family was exploring a ghost town in Colorado. My younger brothers saw a tunnel in the mountain and started to run through the small cave. My dad yelled, ‘STOP!!!’ The first miracle is that they did. The second miracle is that my dad stopped them from hidden destruction. This tunnel was maybe 15′ long and you could see daylight on the other side. It appeared perfecting harmless even from 5′ in. What you could not see was a pit so deep that we could neither see the bottom, nor could we hear the bottom when we cast a large rock into it. That would have been a dark, crushing, agonizing death for both anyone who fell into it and loved ones who could not prevent the fall.

God’s laws are warning boundaries around destructive pits – loving, not punitive or harsh. Jesus loves us and feels the pain of believers every time we sin, that is what His payment looks like.

May

Is your theology based upon the opinions and interpretations of life by man, or is it based upon your relationship with God and your study of the word of God?

The quality of your life, the joy you receive from life is directly related to your attitude. What is a challenge or an adventure for one, another considers a horrible experience; what is a normal procedure for one, another considers a frustrating hassle.

Change your life? Change your attitude.

God makes beauty from ashes – and often even our leftover thoughts/efforts. When i have leftover paint on my palatte, i often swirl it around a canvas.

i was talking to a friend, Diane, a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. I had promised her a painting (one of these days). As we were talking, she mentioned she likes impressionist paintings – they mean something different to everyone. over the next few weeks, as i stared at my leftover paint canvas, a painting began to evolve.

This one is God’s love – Finding Peace in the chaos.

Psalm 139: 13 For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise You, for [c]I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well

Those times when you’re exhausted, frustrated, and ready to quit, look up! that is usually when the finish line is in sight. Whatever race you are currently running, finish it with all you’ve got, and when that isn’t enough, ask, and let the Holy Spirit fill the gaps with His strength.

Philippians 3:13-15

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.

Some days we sit and drink in God’s words to overflowing. On other days we are swimming hard and fast to keep our heads above water. On those days, I find God often gives me strength and motivation as He pours out His healing words like oil on water to keep me afloat. As I run between tasks, He brings to mind this verse:

Mark 6:4 But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.”

Often it is those who are closest to us who know and see us the least clearly. Often they are our biggest critics and judge through the lens of their own hearts instead of clearly seeing our own. This type of criticism is not constructive.

I am so very grateful for our amazing God who created my heart and knows me intimately. In that knowing, He brings those precious people alongside to give us the encouragement, help, love, and truly constructive criticism that we so desperately need.

This is a blessing beyond words – grateful, so very grateful for these blessings.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Every bite is a victory, and that which you can’t swallow today is a victory God has already provided for tomorrow.

April

Feelings are warning gauges, not permission to dump on others. You can’t just ride in on your high horse, spread manure all over someone, and then move on as if no one else matters. Passive aggression is messy, and refusal to communicate is messy. Cleaning up your mess, the emotional carnage wrecked by moodiness is the first step in restoring trust. Unfortunately, initiating communication with a passive aggressive often results in retaliation.

There are pillars of faith: those steadfast faithful who stand strong in the storm and encourage others to be faithful.
Then there are flags of faith: those who fly at every breeze and chase every new wind.
Flags are more showy, but I think I’d rather stand with the pillars.

There are those who are our beloved, faithful, trustworthy inner circle – we invite them fully in to share our joy and our sorrows.
Then there are those who are second-hand or superficial friends – they are neither fully trustworthy nor faithful, but can be fun friends to be with occasionally.
Each has a valuable place in our life and it is important to our own heart and mental health to acknowledge the difference. When not sure which is which, look at the value they have assigned to you. Your relationship can never be more than the value BOTH parties assign to it.

Mar

Stress is so often a cycle. I am stressed because of things I cannot change, so I become heavily involved in activities that I can control, and activities that help de-stress, which in turn creates a schedule chaos to balance my time between what I can do, what I must do, and what I need to do to de-stress.

Many are willing to die for Jesus, Not as many to live for Jesus.

I wonder if concurrent with the freedom of speech trials re: social media, if there is also a truth in advertising link. I.e. the name facebook should be changed to faceBLOCK.

I am painting one of the most difficult painting I have ever painted… a desert scene. It needs to be sparse and I keep wanting to fill it up with stuff.

God has created each of us with talents and gifts. Sometimes the gift is not so much that we are remarkably talented, but rather how that gift speaks to our heart.

Some paintings have a story to tell, others are just an expression of a feeling.

God has created each of us with talents and gifts. Sometimes the gift is not so much that we are remarkably talented, but rather how that gift speaks to our heart.

Feb

As I watch the ponies prance, I remember some great times horseback riding. My greatest challenge is that I’m not very tall and my mare was.

Life lesson learned: When you ride in on a high horse, sometimes it hurts to get down… it hurts even more when your high horse is bucking.

Which is worse? Saving your body so it’s not used up at 90 years old or living it and using it up?

Life has seasons. But even within a season, every moment is not the same: sometimes there are intense storms in May-June, and sometimes there are 60-degree days in January. Sometimes God is clear that you are in a season of resting at His feet; Other times it is a season of growth and learning. Throughout the seasons there are different crop harvests depending on the type of crop nurtured that year.

Luke 12 says: ⁵⁴ Then He also said to the multitudes, “Whenever you see a cloud rising out of the west, immediately you say, ‘A shower is coming’; and so it is. ⁵⁵ And when you see the south wind blow, you say, ‘There will be hot weather’; and there is. ⁵⁶ Hypocrites! You can discern the face of the sky and of the earth, but how is it you do not discern this time?

Some storms and seasons are easy to discern. This is not one of them. This is a season of transition: both planting and harvesting. This is a season where the wind pressure changes and your breath catches in your soul: “I see your Spirit moving God, and ya’ll are about to do a thing, aren’t You…”

There is a saying that blood is thicker than water. In this era where we see so many families in crisis, we must remember: it is not human blood that binds us together, but the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ.

a truly intelligent person is one who can take a complicated subject matter and teach it to a child.

When God stretches our hearts and minds: truth lovers grow while those imprisoned by lies grow angry.  

Jan

Friendly Fire

I was recently observing a Facebook interaction between individuals with different theological ideals. This is not a salvation issue they were debating. This was also not a friendly disagreement. I confess to not fitting into either box. I see truth and discrepancy in each. Since it’s not a salvation issue, I observed all I care to observe and am not investing time in this debate.

What caught my attention was not the debate itself. One of the debaters used the term friendly fire. That struck a chord. Nothing hurts worse that getting shot in the back by those you trust to have your back. When the enemy can cause confusion in God’s camp, (and he’s really good at that), we invest our time, energy, and resources fighting each other instead of confronting the actual enemy. This happens far too often – we are focused on the task at hand and get hit from behind by not-so-friendly fire because we didn’t stay in our hole and keep our heads down. Hiding is not an effective strategy for victory either.

Someone jokingly said this week, “You’re on your way to becoming an apologist…” Not if this is what an apologist looks like. Mud-slinging is ugly in politics, it’s worse amongst family. Ya’ll are brothers in Christ – get over your need for dominance. Souls are drowning all around you, how about reaching out to them instead of fighting each other?

Lessons from hospice care: vitamins are for the living not the dying. Define living please. How do we know when we go from living to dying? What about just breathing or just existing? Are those in a zombie-like state, just watching others live considered living or dying? Sigh. I’ll take my vitamins today and figure it out tomorrow.

This is the generation of soundbites. By the 3^rd sentence they have tuned out.

When a runner experiences life obstacles, they literally run their heart out. At least as we age we’re running on the down side of the hill… faster, right?

The truth will set you free… but the birth pains before you get there are excruciating. Truth often hurts.

When you pray to dream God’s dream for your life, grab a pen and paper to start planning because the Holy Spirit will pour out in abundance

What the enemy intends for harm,
Jesus transforms to blessing
*when we ask and when we let Him*

Spiritual discipline is not about me, it’s about training our hearts and minds to be more like Jesus.

Ancient man considered the stomach the seat of emotion. Modern man considers emotions are seated in the heart. Are they not connected?

You cannot fill your heart through your stomach, it drains out too quickly. Neither will your stomach be filled if your heart is empty.

A happy heart = a happy stomach.

Consolation plans often provide little consolation.

Sometimes there is risk in pursuing your dream.

Often there is a greater risk in sharing your dream – someone, somewhere will shoot it down.

2019 2 Timothy 2:1 grace

This morning, I was meditating on the 1st part of this year’s chapter. “You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” This meditation has turned into a multiple day journey that has led to deep, intense prayer, and a heart utterly broken as Jesus revealed bondage in myself and others… as a friend and I confronted together those dark places in ourselves and prayed for loved ones, I developed a different picture.

the grace that is Christ Jesus… what does that look like?

the word translated my son is also my child. Timothy was Paul’s spiritual son. I identify with that as one grafted into the root As a mother, “My child” feels to me like my loving Abba wrapping His arms around me, kissing my bruises and wounds, and saying, “it’s ok, child

be strong, be empowered by

grace – charis: graciousness, manner or act, esp the divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in the life; including gratitude, acceptable benefit, favour, gift, grace, joy

Jesus loves the unlovely

Jesus knows our faults and loved us anyway

Jesus was humble – He renounced status…

Empowered by the grace that is in Christ Jesus… is that kind of like looking at someone and seeing them as Jesus’ beloved, so precious that Jesus forgave them all?

Jesus wept, His heart was utterly broken for His beloved who would turn away from His gift. Grace sometimes looks like being broken hearted for those in bondage.

Grace – Jesus exhibited that amazing grace that said, “no matter your social status, where you were born, what sins you’ve committed, etc… I love you so much that I died for you.” Jesus knows our every flaw, yet gently touches those scars, those pains, those insecurities and proclaims them precious in His sight.

I am still stuck on this verse… but that’s ok… those places that are deep, the Holy Spirit plants a garden that produces fruit. I eagerly await the harvest and am so thankful that no matter how long we know him, no matter how deep our struggles, no matter how significant our past or present… God started the answer to our prayers long before we were even born. 

2019 2 Timothy 2:2-7 Don’t Look Down!

I am continuing to dig deep into the chapter (2 Timothy 2) that God would have us live this year.

I am apprehensive and not thrilled about verses 2-6
2 And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. 3 You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 5 And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6 The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops. 
7 Consider what I say, and may the Lord give you understanding in all things.

Ok, commit God’s word to faithful people I get. We do that through a variety of methods: services and products provided at the Ranch, Retreats, yes even facebook.

But verses 3-7 take my breath way. Verses 3 through 7 sound HARD, they sound like surviving when I have felt called to not just survive, but THRIVE. It sounds like strengthening, preparation for war, but the part about the athletic events and the farmer sound like preparation for LIFE… not just survival.

We have several difficult evens looming on the horizon. I have no idea how we will get through them.

I believe that there is not a magic prayer pattern or posture – it varies. Sometimes it looks like walking, sometimes face down, etc… This morning, I lay in bed while praying. On a cold morning, it just feels like a Jesus hug as we talk. Talk requires not just moving your mouth, but also moving your heart to hear. As I contemplated what Jesus was saying, I was not disappointed, He filled my heart with joy.

The picture in mind was when we did the superman slingshot  at Royal Gorge. You are harnessed to a rope, they take you way up high, then someone (Mike) pulls the cord and you drop face first then swing out over a deep, beautiful chasm… Royal Gorge. I closed my eyes that first drop (I am afraid of heights), but opened them over the canyon and it was amazing!

I put my trust, my life in the safety of a cable that was going to drop me head first… how much more productive is trust put in Jesus? How much more amazing will be the view, the journey? Jesus said, Focus on me, hang on to me during the journey – the ups, the downs…


But there is more… the second thing He gave me this morning is related to this verse:

But You are holy, Enthroned in the praises of Israel. Psalm 22:3

Enthroned in the praises… When we praise God we put Him back on the throne of our life. It made me consider… what did I allow to inhabit that throne in place of God?

That brings me to another favorite verse, “The Joy of the Lord is my strength…”
Ah but the full verses is beautiful:
9 And Nehemiah, who was the [b]governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, “This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn nor weep.” For all the people wept, when they heard the words of the Law.

10 Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

11 So the Levites quieted all the people, saying, “Be still, for the day is holy; do not be grieved.” 12 And all the people went their way to eat and drink, to send portions and rejoice greatly, because they understood the words that were declared to them. Nehemiah

The people had turned away from God. And when Nehemiah, Ezra and the Levites read the law, God’s word, to the people, they grieved because they had no understanding until this time. “No not mourn or weep… the joy of the Lord is your strength..”

God’s word is not a point of sorrow, understanding brings joy.

As I contemplated these verses, the visual is:
When God is on the throne, Jesus is in my heart, and the Holy Spirit inhabits all areas of my life praise drives out the shadows from all areas of my life. The Holy Spirits fills my life with joy in place of anger, bitterness, worry, strife, sorrow, despair, hopelessness, weakness… all things that would be enthroned in my life if I allow self on the throne and robe myself with all the wrongs, sorrows, and hurt that have been done to me in my life. But I choose to cast them at the foot of the cross, robe God in Praise (not that I can add to His glory), but when I fall on my face before God seated on the throne, when I praise God, He clothes me in Joy, and the Joy of the Lord is my strength.

Don’t look down, child… Don’t look at the sorrow, the hurt, the pain… if you must close your eyes, do it… but fix your heart on me. When you have to courage to open them, fix your eyes on me… and I will fill your heart, your life with awe.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12

2019 2 Timothy 2:6-7 A Farmer’s Life

As I took another look at our 2019 verse, I decided a “light look” was where I was at today in light of all the paperwork I have been playing catch up with since retirement… it was hard with Mike coming from moving 30 years worth of stuff from an office and storage area and integrating it here, just as our busy season was starting). I got behind and have been behind for 6 months.

We have been cleaning and sorting through the trailerloads of stuff… auto parts (from the car we dismantled), from the mustang the students worked on, etc. that were stored in the back lot at the school during our 1st move and we gathered up in May to bring the rest of the way home. We stashed stuff EVERYWHERE around here, but now we are trying to get Mike’s shop set up so he’s not having to look for this part and that part.

I probably should have been working on paperwork, to catch up more and helping with cleaning/organizing less, but, honestly, some times I just need to get out of the house and work outside… so I’ve been cutting firewood and helping rearrange the barn. In typical Linda fashion, I literally put signs on the doors: this stall is ONLY for these items. Don’t stash stuff temporarily in the wrong stall! I have been doing the same inside the lodge to get ready for next season.

Yesterday as I got ready to work on the paperwork, that shoulda, coulda, woulda monster tap danced all around me. Before I started my day’s project, I re-read 2 Timothy 2… if that’s the chapter God’s got for us, I need to know it well enough to stand on it this year.

So, after diving into 
2:1 be strong in Jesus
2:2 commit teachings to faithful men who can endure
2:3 endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus
2:4 don’t become entangled in the stuff of this life
2:5 athletes are crowned when they compete according to the rules

I decided 2:6 and 2:7 would be a reprieve… 
6 The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops. 7 Consider what I say, and may the Lord give you understanding in all things. 2 Timothy 2

We’ve had a lot of farmers in our family, few work as hard as they do… with the exception of probably their wives. No problems there. What got me was “must be the first to partake of the crops…” As I meditated on that, it sounded a lot like, “if you are travelling with children, put on your own oxygen mask first…”

I am not good at putting myself first. I push through when I’m exhausted, I push through when I am sick… in the summer, I grab a cup of coffee and/or milk, a candy bar or a banana instead of a meal… but that isn’t what God wants, is it? He wants us to be still at times, to take time to eat a good meal.

“Consider what I say, and may the Lord give you understanding in all things… “

I don’t want to… but I really do have to admit, I am a whole lot more understanding when I’ve had a good meal and rest… I am also able to focus more on what God has to say. Instead of pushing through, I am able to sit and receive. In the summer I chew a thought, write it, work on my task at hand while chewing more… ultimate brain bounce. I hear God, but am distracted by the clatter of life.

We know we cannot keep up this furious pace and have decided to put up tighter boundaries. We don’t have to be on call 24/7 – if guests want to come during our off season or during our off hours, a phone call ensures that someone will be here. I’m not answering the business line during the winter, I return calls, texts, emails instead. That lets my quiet time actually be quiet. This is my time to refresh and streamline for the next season of ministry. I hear God saying to my heart, “don’t feel guilty for resting… I have prescribed that…”

I love all seasons here, enjoying the Sweet winter time of sustenance: food, coffee, and quiet fellowship with Abba…

Be blessed today, my friend… I’m going to make some breakfast… not something I normally do when I’m home alone, but I’m not alone today, Abba is here for breakfast and I’m going to indulge in a sit down meal with Him.

2019 The Farmer’s Life

Yesterday, as I looked at 2 Timothy 2:6-7 I knew it would be a two part thought. Yesterday, I meditated on the portion that, if you are not nourished and rested, endurance is an issue.

As I stated, I know of few who work as hard as farmers and honestly, farmers have great risk in their profession: too little rain, and there are little or no crops, too much rain, and the crops can be poor or even impossible to plant, too much heat and they wither, too little sun and they they don’t grow… year to year it’s a miracle if there is a great crop, and while it can be fulfilling and satisfying to live off the land, there are a lot of years that the cost of that land is greater than the income the land produces. Then you find yourself working more than one job just to keep a roof over your head.

There is also a certain amount of work and yes, risk, in ministry. 
the one thing you can be certain of is that if you don’t plant seeds, you won’t harvest crops and will not partake of the crops. 
Different climates can have a different method of planting, growing and harvesting which has proven successful for producing a good crop. While there are methods that cross over from climate to climate, they are not all exactly the same.

A farmer will occasionally change his crop – it’s better for the soil, it’s a calculated risk as to what crop he expects to produce better in that year.

The blessing in ministry is that God knows the climate and if we are attentive, if we seek and consider His wisdom, He will give us understanding as to when, where and what we are to plant, to nurture and to harvest. The other blessing is that we plant, but God gives the increase – He knows what and when to provide water and light to the seeds that are planted. Some seeds lie dormant for years before producing fruit while others sprout quickly. Our calling is to plant, to water, and tend to the weeds that threaten to choke the crop. The responsibility for bringing light to that buried seed is The Holy Spirit’s and the glory for the harvest is Jesus’. My words, our words, are designed to reflect His light, but I cannot produce, of my own ability, the necessary light to enlighten hearts and minds. We are blessed by partaking in the harvest, but ultimately the harvest is His, we cannot produce it without Him.

The joy of ministry is seeing what people and opportunities He brings into our lives each day… It is seeing those seeds sprout, grow and mature… It is in partaking of the harvest. As we prepare the soil for next season, I look ahead with hope. I anticipate seeing what God has in store for this next season. I wonder what the harvest will look like? I do not know, but I do know that it will be enough.

The blessing for both the farmer and the minister is seeing a fruitful harvest… praying for the harvest.

Deeper Still:
7 So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. 8 Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor. 1 Corinthians 3:7

6 The hardworking farmer must be first to partake of the crops. 7 Consider what I say, and may the Lord give you understanding in all things. 2 Timothy 2

***

2019 2 Timothy 2:13-17 Blessings and Challenges

God called me back to this year’s verse… when I shared it with a friend, she said, “You are going to be amazingly blessed, and amazingly challenged.

This has been a challenge week. And I can honestly say, I didn’t handle it as well as I would have liked. The joy of the convertible ride down the coast, windows up, seat heater on took on new meaning when the doctor told me thursday I had an ear infection and sinus infection. My sinuses definitely hurt, but my ears didn’t hurt, I had bad vertigo. I have hayfever. Sinus infections are an annual/bi-annual event, other than normal hayfever, this one came on suddenly. I have too much to do to be down, but light hurt my eyes and I couldn’t compute, nor could I climb on ladders to clean the upper cabinets. Sometimes God’s command is to rest, and when we don’t, He will show us how.

This year’s chapter (usually just a verse): 2 Timothy 2… what speaks to me today is 13-17 13 If we are faithless,

He remains faithful;

He cannot deny Himself.

14 Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. 15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 16 But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. 17 And their message will spread like cancer.

God is faithful, even when we are not/can not be. He gave us the Holy Spirit to teach, to lead, to guide, to provide in our spirit.

As my heart wrestles with so many things, the Holy Spirit said, “quiet child… you don’t need answers, you need peace…” So often the answers resolve themselves and worry was wasted, and our spirit was burdened for naught. God is faithful. God sees. God knows our needs, our hearts

Let’s face it, we have good days, we have bad days. God teaches us through the bad days, He does not turn His back on us.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

and we move on, putting these things, these hurts behind us, we get through the by/in/through the grace of God.

As I was studying, my eyes also went ahead to 2 Timothy 3. Ok, Lord, isn’t one chapter enough for this year?

2 Timothy 3:3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Isn’t narcissism all too prevalent these days? “ME! ME! ME! I want… I deserve…. poor me….”

We wound and tear each other down because to honor someone else might make us face our own sins…

We turn from God and turn inward,

Our thoughts are destructive because they are all about “me”…

Always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth….

The truth is that in many situations we are neither innocent nor 100% guilty…

I posted a couple quotes on repeating lessons… and I beg God to clarify the lessons of this week so that I don’t have to live them again. Unfortunately, there is much is these lessons I don’t like, but I will follow God anyway.

I come to this place with my heart repeating Paul’s words,

Romans 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

God sees my heart… my struggles… my desires.

I am so very grateful and amazed that He is faithful and doesn’t give up when I stumble, but picks me back up and puts me back on the path.

Psalm 32:6 6 For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You

In a time when You may be found;

Surely in a flood of great waters

They shall not come near him.

7 You are my hiding place;

You shall preserve me from trouble;

You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will guide you with My eye.

God did not say we would not endure storms, but He has promised shelter through them.

Isaiah 25:25 O Lord, You are my God.

I will exalt You,

I will praise Your name,

For You have done wonderful things;

Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

2 For You have made a city a ruin,

A fortified city a ruin,

A palace of foreigners to be a city no more;

It will never be rebuilt.

3 Therefore the strong people will glorify You;

The city of the [a]terrible nations will fear You.

4 For You have been a strength to the poor,

A strength to the needy in his distress,

A refuge from the storm,

A shade from the heat;

For the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.

Deeper Still

Job 34:21 “For His eyes are on the ways of man,

And He sees all his steps.

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

2019 2 Timothy 2:15 Approved:  Self- Righteous words are not the same as Righteous words

2 Timothy 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 16 But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. 17 And their message will spread like cancer… 19 Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
…23 But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.

Meditating on our 2019 chapter again today as I beseech God for discernment and wisdom as to what He is calling us to do this year. We seek constantly to be that faithful, approved worker. My heart grieves at each time I falter, even though I know I am human and will falter and fail frequently. One thing He has clarified, we are here to please God, not to be people pleasers. Ultimately our service to others is a product of our service to God not service to people to obtain favor from God.

Words have weight, have value. Criticism, gossip, telling others what they should do… aren’t those actually signs of someone who is not engaged with living life and so divert focus to telling others how to live? Lead by example… live an example! Our policy is lifestyle evangelism. Our Words are ineffective if our life does not confirm and model our words.

Diligence… one of the old buzz phrases in leadership has been “exercising due diligence”. We are instructed to be “wise as serpents but harmless as doves.” This is difficult and I pray constantly for discernment… what is diligence and what is excessive fear and mistrust? Isn’t diligence an excellent tool in my own life, but diligence over monitoring and commentary of someone else’s actions classic codependency control?

One thing my years have taught me is that there are an abundance of people who are willing to offer commentary on the SHOULDs: how I should live life, how we should work – should operate our business, should spend our money…. how I should speak, what I should fear, what I should focus on… the shoulds are discouraging. I am living life trying to attentively listening to God… when I take my eyes off Him to be a people pleaser, to chase down rabbit trails, I get lost, I stumble, I get discouraged and I am ready to give up.

If I have so much time left over after living my life that I feel obliged to supervise another’s… well, time to talk to God about it… I am missing what He is calling me to do. God does not call us to idleness or to fabricate drama.

If God has put something on my heart, He is probably also trying to put it in my life. My life is the life I can live. I cannot live your life any more than you can live mine. We see a small piece of each others lives – we do NOT see all the intricacies of that life, that calling, why those choices are made. Thank you, Captain Obvious… so much of what we think others should be doing is more relevant to our life than to theirs – it is the face in the mirror that needs to be doing what is in our hearts and the life we live that reflects our heart. The saying, “don’t talk the talk if you’re not walking the walk,” comes to mind. There is a point where I just need to quit moving my mouth and start moving my hands and feet. Some times that looks like drawing near and offering a hand up, sometimes that looks like walking away so as not to be drawn into a pit.fwhen they request help. This is to say that the best way to help is often to ask how/what I can do to help… to be a supportive listener, to pray for them, and to resist the urge to infuse drama and misinformation into those prayer requests.

The tongue is sharper than a two-edged sword… our words have the power to clear away entanglements, but they also have the power to destroy. How precious are those who offering encouraging words instead of criticism, whose words build up instead of destroy. Whose words offer encouragement, love and support instead of consistency wounding, cutting and bruising. There are times when we journey through the brush, over the harsh, cutting rocks because there is no way around or because we up to that challenge at the moment. There are other times when we choose the more gentle path because we know we have not the strength to climb the summit. There are those people in our lives whom we must choose to be around only when we have the strength to withstand the harsh path and there are those whom we choose to be around when we need that refreshing, healing journey.

Psalm 19:13-14 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
Let them not have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
And I shall be innocent of [a]great transgression.
14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my [b]strength and my Redeemer.

Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise teaches his mouth,
And adds learning to his lips.
24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Deeper Still

The Word Discovers Our Condition
Hebrews 4:11 Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. 12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.
James 3:13
[ Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom ] Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.

1 Thessalonians 2:4-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
4 But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts. 5 For neither at any time did we use flattering words, as you know, nor a [a]cloak for covetousness—God is witness. 6 Nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ.

Matthew 10:15-17 New King James Version (NKJV)
16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless[a] as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues.

Psalm:15 LORD, who may [a]abide in Your tabernacle?
Who may dwell in Your holy hill?
2 He who walks uprightly,
And works righteousness,
And speaks the truth in his heart;
3 He who does not backbite with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor does he [b]take up a reproach against his friend;
4 In whose eyes a vile person is despised,
But he honors those who fear the LORD;
He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
5 He who does not put out his money at usury,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things shall never be moved.
Psalm 34:11 Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Who is the man who desires life,
And loves many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep your tongue from evil,
And your lips from speaking deceit.
14 Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.

Proverbs 12: 17 He who speaks truth declares righteousness,
But a false witness, deceit.
18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
19 The truthful lip shall be established forever,
But a lying tongue is but for a moment.
20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil,
But counselors of peace have joy.
Psalm: 12 Help,[b] LORD, for the godly man ceases!
For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men.
2 They speak idly everyone with his neighbor;
With flattering lips and [c]a double heart they speak.
3 May the LORD [d]cut off all flattering lips,
And the tongue that speaks [e]proud things,
4 Who have said,
“With our tongue we will prevail;
Our lips are our own;
Who is lord over us?”
5 “For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy,
Now I will arise,” says the LORD;
“I will set him in the safety for which he yearns.”
6 The words of the LORD are pure words,
Like silver tried in a furnace of earth,
Purified seven times.

2019 2 Timothy 2:19-21 Vessels of Honor and Dishonor

Meditating on the next section of our 2019 Challenge Chapter

2 Timothy 2: 19 Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”

20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. 21 Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, [h]sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.

The Lord knows those who are His…
our Jesus Journey changes regularly. When I was a baby, He swaddled me, fed me, carried me…
As a toddler, I was encouraged to walk a little on my own, but then comforted and carried when I could not walk.
As an adult, I walk more… but there are still limits to my strength, and there are still so many times when Jesus carries me when my strength fails. Each day, my strength is renewed and we journey to different places, each day I learn more, each day The Holy Spirit teaches me more and more on this amazing Jesus Journey. The days are never the same.
Only the Lord knows our journey.

I love the visual in the next section:
There are different vessels, some for honor, some for dishonor.

We often think of a vessel having only a specific use and it cannot be used for anything else.
I am thinking of a plain aluminum can… I can use it for trash, for ash, or clean it, add ice and put cool drinks in it for a BBQ… we have often repurposed dishes… Candlesticks fastened to plates to make beautiful Tea trays.

I think of some of the chamber pots we’ve seen in museums…  some were intricate and beautiful… and yes, used for a different kind of ash. Cleaned up, could they not be beautifully used for a feast for a King? We think that if a vessel was once dishonored, it is no longer fit for honor. Praise God, that He is not how He sees us!

We can get this self-righteous attitude: they are of the wrong church; they don’t have the right training; do you know what they’ve done; do you know who they are; do you know their family; they are not equipped the way I am equipped… they can never be real, they can never be truly used by God… they are hypocrites…  arrogance and pride… is that not exactly what Jesus was referring to in His conversation with the scribes and Pharisees? When we call someone a hypocrite, is it not possible the person we are truly speaking of it the one in the mirror?

Matthew 23:25-27 New King James Version (NKJV)

25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and [a]self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.

27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.

Oh, do not so casually cast aside the formerly dishonorable vessels… Jesus is the original repurposer… and what He has cleansed is no longer dishonorable, but a precious vessel of honor to be used at His feast for the King of Kings. When the feast is prepared, it is not the vessel itself which will satisfy the honored guests, it is what the vessel is filled with…
An ornate silver vessel filled with ash will leave a bad taste,
A plain chamber pot cleansed, sanitized and filled with luscious treats plays a delicious part in a heavenly feast.

As one who prepares frequent feasts, I can tell you: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER stand in the way of a cook on a mission! How much more true of the feast God is preparing in Heaven. That which WE call honorable, is often weighed on a false scale…  That which Jesus cleanses is Holy, Honorable and precious!
That is an accurate measure and I will treat them as such.

Deeper Still:
Psalm 19:12 Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults.

Psalm 51:2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin.

Acts 10:15 And a voice spoke to him again the second time, “What God has cleansed you must not call common.”

Mark 1:40-42 New King James Version (NKJV)

Jesus Cleanses a Leper

40 Now a leper came to Him, imploring Him, kneeling down to Him and saying to Him, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.”

41 Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.” 42 As soon as He had spoken, immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed.

2 Corinthians 7:1 [ The Corinthians’ Repentance ] Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

Jeremiah 33:8 I will cleanse them from all their iniquity by which they have sinned against Me, and I will pardon all their iniquities by which they have sinned and by which they have transgressed against Me.

I think back to the beginning of January, as I asked God for a verse and He gave me instead, 2 Timothy 2. I have been slowly digging deeper into that as we have lived this chapter this year. A couple days ago He reminded me that I need to finish before summer. I opened my Bible and read verses 22:-26 and initially balked. In fact, I went back over the rest of 2 Timothy 2 and put my previous studies into one note…  I had a note from the beginning of the year that I have had to review and refresh several times:
As I look at the picture hanging on the wall of the lion, it reminds me again of God’s provision and the journey with Him. He told me in January that this year would be a year of change.. This year, will require courage – change does.

He has reminded me that…

He will teach me to please Him, while showing me the futility of being a “people pleaser”.

He will teach me to Love as He loves, by showing me what love is not.

He will teach me courage by first having me face my fears.
He will teach me freedom by revealing my captivity.

He will teach me “yes, “by first teaching me the necessity of “no.”

He will teach me His provision, by first walking me through loss.
He will teach me who my friends are, but showing me what friendship is not.

He will teach me strength through my weakness…

He will teach me the voice of truth by quietly speaking above the shout of the lies.

As I reviewed the first sections of this 2019 chapter, I came to the last part with a desire to absolutely know what God is saying to me. As a result, I could be the only one interested in this section. I will not interpret here, I am putting forth my research and leave each to their own findings and conclusions. Our lives are all different and this is something that will be applicable in each life differently. I will not attempt to interpret application for you, nor can you interpret application for me. I pray blessings and discernment over you each as you seek God in this… The Holy Spirit will instruct as we ask, and the answers are individual between us and God.

2 Timothy 2:  ²² Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. ²³ But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. ²⁴ And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, ²⁵ in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, ²⁶ and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

This morning, God woke me with the beautiful words, “You are a child of victory, you are defined by me, not by the opinions of others…”
This was precious to me, as yesterday was a day where I again was under the “you shoulds” as to how I should handle a particular situation. But realistically, a relationship cannot be repaired where the other party is going to everyone about me but not to me. As He recapped so many of the lessons I have lived this month, I am trying to put the pieces together – which of course for me looks like writing… but wow, there are a lot of pieces! But then again, this year has had a lot of life lessons… wish this course could have been completed young and then I could have lived happily ever after… yeah.right.

My verse (chapter) this year, 2 Timothy 2, was renewed again this week as it was our retreat topic. I thought I was so prepared because I had studied it and studied it in January when God gave it to me, but life this year gave me a different lesson, because I am different.

LIFE LESSONS
Again, I keep going back to the lessons God said He would teach me this year… hard lessons, heart breaking lessons… in order to effect new, healthy, positive growth. Praise challenge, day 85 was a recap of this: “You spoke into my heart that this year will require courage – change does.

You said You will teach me to please God, through showing me the futility of being a “people pleaser”;

You will teach me to Love as Jesus loves, by showing me what love is not;

You will teach me courage by first having me face my fears;
You will teach me forgiveness by showing me what unforgiveness lives like;

You will teach me freedom by revealing my captivity;

You will teach me “yes,“ by first teaching me the necessity of “no;”

You will teach me Your provision, by first walking me through loss;

You will teach me who my friends are, by showing me what friendship is not;

You will teach me strength through my weakness;

You will teach me obedience by sweeping away my excuses;

You will teach me wisdom by showing me foolishness;

You will teach me the voice of truth by quietly speaking above the shout of the lies;
You will show me what Your presence, Your blessings look like through it all.
I praise You precious Holy Spirit for the hard lessons I do not want to face –

Lessons which change life because they change me…”

FAVOR/JOY/PRAISE
2 Timothy 2:1 put me on my face for a week this month. “You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”

So simple… right? The therefore is 2 Timothy 1 about holding on to sound teaching.
Grace, charis also translates as “favor” – a Divine influence on the heart AND it’s reflection in my life. 

“Yes, child” but that’s only the half of it! Grace, my favor, is the first half…

Grace (charis) and joy (chara) have the same root:  Grace and joy are the daughters of chairo – to rejoice.

Grace is rooted in rejoicing, in thanks… grace requires thanks, gratitude to the giver to be complete.

Strengthen (endunamoo) is to be empowered, inwardly strengthened in soul and purpose… by Jesus’ favor.

Lord – Am I then empowered in soul and purpose, when I rejoice, when I celebrate and experience the joy of Your favor?

“Ah, child, live that question inwardly for this next season, as you experience the answers…” 

³ You therefore must endurehardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. ⁴ No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. ⁵ And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 2 Timothy 2

RULES AND ENTANGLEMENTS:
Avoid entanglements, compete according to the rules of engagement – What entanglements? what rules?

I am defined by Jesus and I am His beloved – His rules.
I am not defined by the opinions or moods of others. I was listening to a Brene Brown book, and she notes that she keeps a 1” square piece of paper with, “these are the people whose opinion/critique about me matters.” As I thought about that… As I compile this list, the #1 criteria is: is this a Godly man/woman whose opinion will be based on God’s truth and not self-serving. If that list is all “yes people”, then I am compiling, as she puts it, “an echo chamber…” a list of people who will echo my words. Yes, I agree, 1” is enough, anything more and it’s easy to get trapped in people pleasing.

What entanglements? Guard my tongue, Lord; Guart my heart:
Gossip is an easy entanglement… but at what point is “sharing” gossip? Often someone will ask, “how is so and so?” To not say anything, “ask them yourself…” would avoid the gossip trap, but can also be rude. I’m working to not say anything I wouldn’t say with them present. I am working on it. Pretty much that could be summed by “don’t say things ABOUT someone which I should be saying TO them.”

When I have to talk about others to feel good about myself, I need to be doing some heart repair time… that is a sure indication of a hurt place that needs attention. Hurt people hurt people… have been on both ends of that recently.

2 Timothy 2 talks about words a LOT… “¹⁴ Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to ^[strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. ¹⁵ Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. ¹⁶ But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. ¹⁷ And their message will spread like cancer.”
Why do I allow myself to get caught up in 3^rd party disputes or fruitless babblings?

Jesus, heal those places…Nostalgia: return to pain
At some point we have to talk about the “stuff”… sometimes our memories lie… to rewrite our story and not talk about  the stuff has several harmful effects:
– a rewrite often writes out the miracle(s) that God has done in our life

– our children do not learn from mistakes we refuse to confront… Family history has a big impact on their lives and family members often fall into the same pit because we don’t want to look at those hereditary holes.
– the “me too”, the vulnerability tells other that not only are we willing to grab a shovel and gloves and take care of business, but also that they can count on us when they are the ones needing to take care of business. Pouring platitudes

Jung says, “He who looks outside dreams, he who looks inside awakes.”
Is it not true that when I look outside for affirmation, for someone else to make things/life better, for someone to blame that I am creating a day dream, a false picture? Whereas when I look inside, with Jesus eyes and heart, that I can awake and find and actually put to action the changes which affect my heart, change my thinking, and thereby my life.

Critical spirit: Since critical has 3 definitions, looking for if and what the Bible says about a critical spirit was hard.
Critical thinking – problem solving
Critical spirit – nitpicky, judgmental
Critical – as in terminally ill
I have to revamp my original research on this… the word “critical” is not in the Bible. But, as was pointed out to me, critical thinking is discernment – this is in the Bible a lot!
Critical spirit – how about this one? ¹⁵ A continual dripping on a very rainy day
And a contentious woman are alike. Proverbs 17:15
Critically ill thinking – Romans 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. 

Abba, Father, create a clean heart in me, renew a right spirit that I may think and behave in a discerning and problem solving manner rather than in a nitpicky or terminal thinking manner.

Lord, I woke thinking this was going to be a light, short, inspiring lesson…
I have been writing for 3 hours and am still processing… looks like another work day… where’s the shovel, let’s get er done! I am a child of victory, I am not defined by opinions, but by You, Abba… and You will direct me to what needs healing, to right thinking, right words, to what matters… and I will be empowered by You, by Your face, by Your grace, by praise and rejoicing in You!

“A God size dream will always be beyond your own ability, your own resources…” from Chase the Lion. Each of us has our own story, additionally, we are each a character in other people’s stories. Sometimes we are in a supporting role, sometimes we are in an adversarial role. The roles we play in other people’s stories, can be a subplot in our own story, but should it be our entire story? I recently compared a couple quotes I love: “You are the author of your own happiness.” “God is writing your story.” I was thinking today how fear can prevent us from fulfilling God’s amazing dream from our life! Or, comparison can steal that dream… we say, “that’s not the part I want to play,” and try to live someone else’s story instead of taking a leading role in our own story. God has created each of us to be unique, we each have a leading role in our own story, He has an amazing dream for each of us, why be content with a bit character part in someone else’s story? Trying to live someone else’s God-dream or calling looks a lot like a nightmare. One of the answered prayers I contemplate often is how when Matt was in his senior year of high school, I realized I didn’t have a dream for the 2nd half of our life… so I prayed for God’s dream for the next chapter of life. What God envisioned and ultimately called us to, was not EVEN on our radar. Big dreams are inspiring, scary, and amazing… but big dreams without big steps of faith, where you walk on following God’s voice without clearly seeing the path ahead, are just day dreams… Dreams come true, when you move your feet along the path of God’s calling. Big dreams often involve big leaps of faith. A new sentence in our story is written each day. What is being written? Does today’s line say, “he faced adversity, then gave up? Or, “when adversity came, he listened to God’s voice and God’s amazing dream for his life became a reality?” praying today to clearly hear and follow God’s dream… not someone else’s, not my own, but God’s… His dreams have a dimensions far beyond my imagination and machination.

Is our nation so fragile that we can only support the system when we get our way? Can we not accept both victory and defeat with grace? Can we not love others who think differently? Does our circle of friends have to be clones of what we think, believe and vote, or can we be tolerant of other beliefs? Good grief people, it doesn’t matter if you are right or left wing – violence is violence and comes full circle, forming the face of hate. This country was built on hope, not hate, let’s continue to build on that foundation.

According to the most common story, challenge coins originated during World War I.[3][4] Before the entry of the United States into the war in 1917 American volunteers from all parts of the country filled the newly formed flying squadrons. Some were wealthy scions attending colleges such as Yale and Harvard who quit in mid-term to join the war.[5][6]

In one squadron, a wealthy lieutenant ordered medallions struck in solid bronze and presented them to his unit. One young pilot placed the medallion in a small leather pouch that he wore about his neck. Shortly after acquiring the medallion, the pilots’ aircraft was severely damaged by ground fire. He was forced to land behind enemy lines and was immediately captured by a German patrol.[7] In order to discourage his escape, the Germans took all of his personal identification except for the small leather pouch around his neck. In the meantime, he was taken to a small French town near the front. Taking advantage of a bombardment that night, he escaped. However, he was without personal identification. He succeeded in avoiding German patrols by donning civilian attire and reached the front lines. With great difficulty, he crossed no-man’s land. Eventually, he stumbled onto a French outpost. Saboteurs had plagued the French in the sector. They sometimes masqueraded as civilians and wore civilian clothes. Not recognizing the young pilot’s American accent, the French thought him to be a saboteur and made ready to execute him. He had no identification to prove his allegiance, but he did have his leather pouch containing the medallion. He showed the medallion to his would-be executioners and one of his French captors recognized the squadron insignia on the medallion. They delayed his execution long enough for him to confirm his identity. Instead of shooting him they gave him a bottle of wine.[2][5][6][8]

Back at his squadron, it became tradition to ensure that all members carried their medallion or coin at all times.[2] This was accomplished through challenge in the following manner: a challenger would ask to see the medallion, if the challenged could not produce a medallion, they were required to buy a drink of choice for the member who challenged them. If the challenged member produced a medallion, then the challenging member was required to pay for the drink. This tradition continued throughout the war and for many years after the war while surviving members of the squadron were still alive.[6][8]

According to another story, challenge coins date back to World War II and were first used by Office of Strategic Service personnel who were deployed in Nazi held France. Similarly, Jim Harrington proposed a Jolly sixpence club amongst the junior officers of the 107th Infantry.[2] The coins were simply a local coin used as a “bona fides” during a personal meeting to help verify a person’s identity. There would be specific aspects such as type of coin, date of the coin, etc. that were examined by each party. This helped prevent infiltration into the meeting by a spy who would have to have advance knowledge of the meeting time and place as well as what coin was to be presented, amongst other signals, as bona fides.

While a number of legends place the advent of challenge coins in the post-Korean Conflict era (some as late as the Vietnam War), or even later, Colonel William “Buffalo Bill” Quinn had coins made for those who served in his 17th Infantry Regiment during 1950 and 1951.

Colonel Verne Green, commander of the 10th Special Forces Group-A, embraced the idea. He had a special coin struck with the unit’s crest and motto in 1969. Until the 1980s, his unit was the only unit with an active challenge coin tradition.[9][10][11]

There is another story about an American soldier scheduled to rendezvous with Philippine guerrillas during WWII. As the story goes, he carried a Philippine solid silver coin that was stamped on one side with the unit insignia. The coin was used to verify, to the guerrillas, that the soldier was their valid contact for the mission against the Japanese.

The challenge coin tradition has spread to other military units, in all branches of service, and even to non-military organizations as well as the United States Congress, which produces challenge coins for members of Congress to give to constituents. Today, challenge coins are given to members upon joining an organization, as an award to improve morale, and sold to commemorate special occasions or as fundraisers. In the Air Force, military training instructors award an airman’s coin to new enlisted personnel upon completion of their United States Air Force Basic Military Training and to new officers upon completion of the Air Force Officer Training School.[8][12]

References

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Her lips move, speaking words they do not hear…
Her words are lost in the crashing waves of their expectations, and their entanglement in their own thoughts… those tangled ropes of what she and others must REALLY be thinking and feeling.  Afraid to reach out for answers, they wrap themselves tighter in those ropes of expectations and are dragged farther away, weighed by the anchor they choose to hang on to… drawn and pulled deeper into the dark depths.

Sometimes we ally ourselves with others against a common enemy; the relationship must be continually fueled by gossip, to keep hate alive, since the basis of the relationship is enmity. 

Other relationships are built on love, hope, companionship, common ground. They inspire, encourage, sometimes exhort, but are built on growth – planted in solid ground, relationships which are built on encouraging one another. 

I pray that I would continually build relationships on love, not on hate. I pray for well-grounded relationships.